Finding your Happy Place

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“A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi


According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,

who coined the term ‘Going with the Flow’,

who created a whole philosophy about The Flow,

we’re at our happiest when we’re so caught up in what we’re doing,

that we’re not thinking about it,

we’re not questioning it,

we’re not asking ourselves – Am I happy?

we’re happy naturally,

the kind of happy which has nothing to do with our concept of it.


“It is when we act freely, for the sake of the action itself rather than for ulterior motives, that we learn to become more than what we were. When we choose a goal and invest ourselves in it to the limits of concentration, whatever we do will be enjoyable. And once we have tasted this joy, we will redouble our efforts to taste it again. This is the way the self grows.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience


To be young and rested,

does not necessarily require being youthful or relaxed,

being a sleeping baby (although for new parents…)


does require a total immersion in something which makes us forget ourselves,

as we are or perceive ourselves to be,

to find ourselves,

in a form which may not be corporeal,

but may also be as real as it can be surreal.


Mirrored - Complications


As I write this post,

the heavens above me are echoing with the sounds of thunderous activity,

of a Stephen much immersed in the flow of a doing…

which is distracting me, a Jennifer, from my own doings,


he’s getting things done,

he’s going with his flow!


“The task is to learn how to enjoy everyday life without diminishing other people’s chances to enjoy theirs.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi


We’re both going through a change,

mutual and separate,

inspired by life and its flow,

which is slightly different from The Flow,

but is a part of it.


Is that your Arm?


“Enjoyment appears at the boundary between boredom and anxiety, when the challenges are just balanced with the person’s capacity to act.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi


Life isn’t quite as considerate to humans as we’d like for it to be,

it can sometimes throw chaos at us,

and then challenge us to deal with it.

Sometimes we’re the chaos which we throw at ourselves,

or others,

and then say – Deal with it!




To remain young and rested,

may entail accepting being old and exhausted

while realising that at any moment a transformation can occur.

Something new knocks at your door…

Do you answer the knock,

open the door,

or hide and hope it will go away?


“It is by being fully involved with every detail of our lives, whether good or bad, that we find happiness, not by trying to look for it directly.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi


Fire Demon


I can’t say that I have this formula sussed,

I don’t.

I have a tendency to be a mess,

which I have now realised is an accidental help rather than a catastrophic hindrance.


“Of all the virtues we can learn no trait is more useful, more essential for survival, and more likely to improve the quality of life than the ability to transform adversity into an enjoyable challenge.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi


Accepting my own messiness at dealing with life,

in all its shapes, forms,


and flow…

makes me appreciate how much fun it can be.

Once I admit that I have no idea what I’m doing,

or what is going on,

I feel relieved,


youthful in my naivety,

and willingness to learn.


“The psychic entropy peculiar to the human condition involves seeing more to do than one can actually accomplish and feeling able to accomplish more than what conditions allow.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi


Look at the Face

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