Steel Your Heart

steel-rings

.

As an adult

I had a dream

in which

for every year of marriage

I received a plain ring

as a Happy Anniversary token

and

once my ring finger was

unable to wear anymore

I could cash my tokens in

for

one

bigger and better

ring

it was a strange dream for this adult to have

and

upon waking

I wondered if

this was a shadow

of a memory

of an experience

I had as a child

on a merry-go-round

I loved going around

on decorated horses which went up and down

observing the world spin by

but

on one carousel

in the Tuileries gardens

in Paris

children were given rods

and challenged to capture steel rings

from a ring dispenser

as they circled by

the one who caught the most rings

would be declared a winner

this was a catastrophe

to a child who did not like

having simple things

ruined by complications

thus

I refused to play this game

but

it bothered me

the peace within had been disturbed

ambition had been awoken

and its clamour

was hard not to hear

and

so

eventually

I agreed to play along

and

after several failures

I steeled my heart

and

won

but

on the day that I won

something was

lost

.

“Nothing is more fatal to happiness than the remembrance of happiness.”
― André Gide

.